The Climb

With any vision, idea, or venture comes periods of challenge on the journey up the mountain. It's been almost two years since I took on the mission of manifesting Vero Films; a production company purely based on creating inspirational content that truly opens the gateways of consciousness and reconnects individuals with the natural world. The past couple years have been full of highs and lows with moments of ease and pure alignment, and other moments of grit and challenge. Somehow through this past year of intensity I have managed to create three short films that are all in the post production phase. These films are all rooted in delivering medicine through the medium of light and sound and have all taken an extreme amount of patience, trust, and perseverance to see their way through. In tandem with film I have also been nurturing talents in performance and have been shown that those gifts are a part of the grand vision of Vero Films as well. 
It's the moments in-between where I get a second to breathe and gain perspective on exactly where I am on this journey up the mountain to my dreams. It's quite clear that I couldn't have made it this far without the incredible love and support of my family, both blood and chosen. There have been many times where everything around me crumbled but I was held in the embrace of many loving arms who saw me for more than the challenges I faced. It only gives me more confidence to rise up through whatever comes at me as I continue to build and grow. 
I was asked a very intriguing question about why this blog is a part of a production company's website. The individual was confused by there being such personal stories connected to a company. I thought about this for quite some time and it became clear to me that in order to do something different, you need to do it differently. Vero Films is about the stories that move the human being. Stories that hit the heart and get to the bones of who we are and what we are capable of expressing though form. By sharing the personal stories I aim to invite people into seeing that Vero Films is a living breathing organism and that the journey to manifesting this dream has been just as rich as the final result. 
It's time for another growth spirt. As the wold enters the largest challenges in history It is up to individuals, companies, and organizations of truth to shine the guiding light.  
Through the greatest challenges we discover the power of who we are. 

With love,

Vita

 

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The Big Change

There's been a feeling looming over me for the past few days. A sense of unrest and urgency that has called me to really take a look at how I am living my life. It all started with a trip to Mexico in January. I was flown out to film for a project but was given more than I thought I would receive from the experience. The trip and filming went smoothly but my time there gave me insight into a different culture and showed another face to the incredible injustice occurring in our world. The imbalanced distribution of wealth and the complete lack of respect for the Earth was clearly seen in the tourist filled streets. But what struck me most was the poverty of the Mayan people. This group of people are the direct descendants of the Mayan Civilization yet are so poor they can not even afford their basic needs let alone a bus ride to the ancient sites that their ancestors once thrived in. It broke my heart to witness such distortion and immediately reminded me of my purpose in life. It also showed me yet another example of the destruction caused by the colonial mindset. All over the world there are peoples who have been driven out of their homeland to make room for a bigger bully who will only take until there is nothing left. It's a story we've all seen and know but I am still taken aback by how the process continues to permeate the fabric of our reality.

After coming back home I attended a couple talks that in combination created quite the impact on my mind and emotions. The first was from a man named Malidoma, he’s been an author and teacher for longer than I’ve been alive, sharing the jewels that have been passed on to him from his African culture. His message speaks to the connection we have to our ancestors and the very real affect that relationship has on our daily lives.  The second talk was from none other than David Suzuki, world renowned environmentalist and the guy who was telling us about global warming back in the 80’s when no one cared to hear. Both of these men shared passionately and free of any care for what might be thought of them. They are both later in their careers and it was quite apparent that their sole desire was to wake people up into action. David Suzuki shared an analogy explaining that our earth is about to reach the maximum number of humans that the biosphere can handle. This means that the global ecosystem is maxed out and further growth of the human population will have devastating impacts on the planet and simply can not be sustained (system crash). This is a reality we are all going to start to feeling soon unless something is done to correct the massive oversight.  

Now going back to Malidoma, he said that after his years of meeting thousands of people in the modern world the main advice he has for all of us is to "grab the bull by it's horns". It is time to realize that we are the active players in the story that is unfolding and we must assume a postion of action to steer this world away from devastation. The passiveness he witnessed throughout the globe only grants permission for injustice and uncontrolled destruction to be the leaders of our future. It's time to realize we each have a unique part to play in the global and collective journey. Most may think that the issue is too big to create lasting change, but that mindset seems to be an excellent way to avoid responsibility for what an individual can in fact change. How can we expect a global culture to let go of ingrained patterns when we as individuals are reluctant to give up our social media habits? 

I've come to realize that the small changes really do ripple out into bigger changes and movement. I've also come to understand that the small changes we make are indeed instrumental in creating the bigger changes we wish to see in our lives. Letting go of old habits rooted in comfort creates space for new opportunities and perspectives to come in.  It also reclaims our power to choose rather than allowing our energy to be seduced and taken with our unconscious consent. And there lies the key. Our power. When we are at the helm of decision making we are in our power, and when we are in our power we can create big change.

I'm unsure of how many people allow themselves to feel into what is happening in our world. For if they did there would be a feeling of injustice impossible to shake. All of this has been very real for me and I've taken it upon myself to start making the small changes that I've been postponing, knowing that they will lead to personal power and the ability to create change on a bigger scale. For me it starts with waking up earlier, taking a break from coffee, and letting go of sugar. It's been a few days since I've made these changes and I have felt the impact on my overall well being and clarity. More and more power is returning, more changes are ahead, and I am gearing up for the big climb. Let's start this year off on a powerful note and make a change that will lead to something better. 

Wishing you all the honesty and clarity in all that you do.

Vita

 

 
Looking out from the top of a Mayan temple. Coba, Mexico

Looking out from the top of a Mayan temple. Coba, Mexico

 

 

 

True Love Way

It's the start of a new calendar year and even though the natural world is still in hibernation, there is a sense of something new rising in my life. A lot was revealed to me last year in both my personal and professional life. Blind spots, areas of improvement, strengths, weaknesses, and talents were all brought to the forefront in the symphony of intensity that was 2017. The dirt got stirred up and for a while it was impossible to see and understand why everything was consistently falling apart around me. Fortunately enough the silt began to settle near the tail end of the year and I can now once again see through the waters to where the river is flowing.

When I look back at the past few years it's clear that I have known what my potential as an artist and leader have been for quite some time. Despite this connection to my personal truth I have faced obstacles both inside and out that have obscured and delayed to actualization of that potential. I have had to hold to a trust that my fullest self was being created even when faced with the grit and pain of feeling drastically far from it. It's been a real humbling process to witness the various obstacles in my personality that have gotten in the way of that innate knowing held deep inside. Like a statue being carved from a block of stone I've had to patiently chip away all the excess density on the outside to reveal the master vision hidden from view. I know that this process is universal and that I am experiencing it on a personal level, present and willing to go the distance.  

The upside to this rather profound and challenging process is that there have been pearls of wisdom acquired from taking the time to understand where the blocks from inner truth come from. Childhood trauma, inherited genetic trauma, and social conditioning have been the major factors I've observed.  It's as if the trauma and conditioning experienced create a filter over thoughts, emotions, and actions that in turn create situations, relationships, and work outcomes that were rooted in pain rather than inner truth. Taking the time to understand and heal these wounds has proven to be beyond valuable in the creation of my artistic, professional, and personal dreams and goals. 

The grand vision I am creating with Vero Films and my performance career has called me to look at the hardest parts of my personality before the big dreams come to life. The journey has also proven to be the most valuable part of actualizing that vision because without the pain and challenge there would be nothing I could share that would really make a difference in the lives of others. A little wisdom story one of my mentors shared with me about the wolf comes to mind. She said that the wolf goes on his solo journey to sniff out pathways though unchartered realms and lands. Once he makes it back to the pack he shares the knowledge with the others so that they too can make the passage to the desired lands with safety and ease. I've always resonated with the wolf and have felt like the whole of humanity is my pack. So let's just say I've sniffed out some some epic trails and am excited to share with all my kin.

My next art film "Virtue" is set to release this February/March. This piece is very dear to me and shares the heart of who I am and what I stand for.

To a new time of exploration, sharing and creation. I'm excited to start sharing my art with all those who wish to receive it.

Your Wolf,

Vita

Screen shot from my upcoming art film entitled VIRTUE. Body art by Diego Pacheco.

Screen shot from my upcoming art film entitled VIRTUE. Body art by Diego Pacheco.

Dance In The Dark

If there's one thing I've learned from my journey as an artist it's that I am the sole driving force to making my dreams and visions a reality. Every day is a new journey with it's own set of challenges and distractions that require a type of long term dedication and focus to navigate through. At times it can really feel as if there are forces pushing against me, using every trick in the book to keep my eyes away from the beauty and love that my life deserves to be. Situations, environments, work, and other people can really trigger my emotions and distract my focus from what I truly wish to create with my life. 

The roller-coaster of day-to-day life can take a toll and progressively eat away at the motivation and hunger to create what we truly desire. It's a force of challenge that naturally exists within nature but it takes a good deal awareness and perseverance to see the other options available. A dear friend of mine shared this beautiful little phrase with me “where attention goes, energy flows.” After letting the words sink in I began to notice just how true they are. I recognized that when I began to think of a past situation that troubled me, or a stressful idea based in the future, it wouldn’t take long for my body language to change and for me to loose the connection with my innate power. It was almost alarming to wittiness in real time just how easy it was for one small thought to spiral out into a whole worldview of fear and suffering. Wild. 

Giving myself time to check into my breath and body first thing in the morning, and throughout the day, helps me calm the fast pace chaos of the mind to help me remember who I truly am. That remembering "who I am" is free of pasting a set of ideas and constructs together to form an identity, but rather remembering that through my heart I am connected to the infinite power of the universe, and have the ability to co-create from a place of love and excitement. Presence is simple however the mind is persistent. I am always humbled by how easy it is to loose that connection to self by getting lost in a stream of thoughts which disconnects me from a state of empowerment. We do live in very intense times but we can choose how we relate to the many circumstances that trigger us by having a solid foundation of simple presence in our body.  That then gives us a reference point to create boundaries from all the things that attempt to throw us off balance. From that place within ourselves we can feel out density in a rooted loving way, rather than ignoring or reacting to the difficulty. 

I share all this beacuse I have found that the my recent challanges have come from allowing emotions and thoughts to infiltrate my inner world. I’ve come to the strong conclusion that my inner space is for me and me only. Other people’s stresses and perceptions have no home within my body and if I wish to help I must first be clear and strong in my energetic, emotional, and mental boundaries. This clarity supports my ambition and drive in creating what love and opens the doors for opportunities of expansion to enter. One breath and one moment at a time. 

If you are having difficulties navigating the heaviness of the world or others’ pain and projections, remember that you are safe, clear, and powerful in the embrace of your own self. I believe in you and know you are worthy of a happy fulfilled life. Point your arrow and focus on the connection to your heart that will see you through the toughest times, and remember to smile, because life is indeed a beautiful thing. 

 

In peace, love and gratitude,

 

Vita

 
 
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Returning

Exactly six months to the date have past since my last blog entry and I'm truly in awe of all that has unfolded since that time. Triumph, loss, victory, and grief have all been in my company as I made my way through the summer months. It’s been a remarkable journey that has left me with so much to integrate and grow from. There were times when everything felt as if magic had blessed me and times of severe loss that almost broke me down completely. It's taken up till now to for me to begin sharing all that has unfolded. 

To start, this summer brought amazing milestones for my performance career. I was called to perform at two festivals, both within a week of one another. The first asked me up to perform three fire spinning slots, one of which ended up being the most powerful performance I had ever felt up to that date. It was the first time I was able to channel the presence of an audience through my movement and deliver something bigger than myself. It left both me and the crowd in awe and lit the fire (pun intended) for even grater work to come. Right after that festival I traveled to a town called Nelson for a week of rehearsals in preparation for my next performance. The stars aligned for me to create and execute my first ever dance-only solo piece for the opening ceremony of BC’s second biggest music festival. It was a huge benchmark in my dreams and goals to work alongside such talented performers and musicians. I still bow my head in honour for it was more than a dance piece, it was prayer and performance merged as one. 

Two days after returning from that great high I had to say goodbye to my best friend Balto, a husky mixed dog who walked along my side for almost a decade. Just thinking of him brings me to tears but I hold to the lessons that he so graciously shared with me over his life. Presence and passion, along with the utter resilience to shake anything off with a smile were some of the gems that my canine sidekick left me with. My family and I were blessed to have the vet come to our home to assist the transition. I stayed beside my buddy in prayer for the entire morning, preparing the place on the earth where he would take his final breath. Life will never be the same without him but the impermanence of life pushes me to live my fullest every single day.  

Through the spring and summer months I truly saw how one of the biggest teachers in our lives are relationships. Some can push us to new heights and others can break us down beyond recognition. Over the past year I went through an incredibly challenging interpersonal relationship that tested the very fabric of my being. From a place of pure love came so much pain and disillusion. Things got physically violent in the spring and the unfolding left me in a place of deep hurt but also motivated me to express the hardship of life through my art. After doing my best to accept my faults and move forward from the event, the individual came back into my life. Despite my better judgement I allowed myself to fall in love again only to result in more pain and heartache. A mutual mistake was turned into ammunition, aimed at me, and fired back, leaving me speechless and empty. I found out a couple weeks later that a relative of mine was poisoned by a substance that has been taking the lives of many in Vancouver. I was in a state of emotional paralyses from everything, and when I asked for space from the person who had given me the most painful runaround of my life, it was ignored and instead I was shamed publicly for returning an item that was not mine to receive. All these events felt like a layer cake of emotions that I was unable to digest at once. I had my sights set on moving forward but was clouded by a trauma in a deep way.

With the immense pain of the spring and summer’s events came a withdrawal into mental patterns that had me heading down a self-distructive path. I could feel something was wrong inside of me but just had to watch myself trip and fall. I knew that I had to maintain a space of unconditional love for myself to not add any more difficulty to an already challenging situation. This method proved to be successful and after a few weeks, a couple good cry sessions, and the love and support form my friends and family, I started to feel like myself again. As you can see life offered me a very intense ride that pulled me away from writing and sharing my experience. I learned however that the only way to get over trauma or pain is to share it honestly. That sharing can happen on the outside but the most important person to share with is yourself. It was only after I was able to take a calm breath, look at the whole situation of my pain, and the pain of the world, that I was able to move past the trembling hands and into a place where I could do something about it. We must all be patient with ourselves and catch when we are moving at a rapid pace, only distracting our minds from the hurt child that lies beneath the surface.

There’s more to share but I think I might be loosing you at this point. Sending love to you all and I pray that each of you take some time throughout your days to sit or lay down in stillness. Check into how you are feeling and if there is a tendency to keep the gears in your mind turning, hold a space of compassion and patience for the child inside that wants to be seen. 

 

With Love,

Vita

 
 

Bold as Love

Oh the journey of love! What a magnificently puzzling and profound aspect of being human. The classroom of life has given me huge opportunities to really understand what it is to love myself, others, and the world in the purest way possible. The emotional boat ride has had it's challenging times but patience and intention have helped me navigate the ocean with a fair amount of grace. From this place I know that the journey of love is an ongoing evolution and that the capacity of the heart is truly infinite. Making the choice to grow into my highest form meant that my whole language of love had to undergo a huge metamorphosis. The process started off with really being honest with how I was relating to myself. With the help of the Medicine Path I walk, and the loved ones around me, I began to peel back the layers that were clouding the simple objective truth of who I was. That process required buckets of compassion as I began to realize all places I had sold myself short and hurt myself through false thoughts, actions, and perceptions. Holding myself in the purity and innocence of a child allowed me to be gentle with mistakes and interact with myself like a loving parent rather than an accusatory judge. 
The next step was stretching that heart muscle and extending that outlook to the people in my life. Where I would once accuse and judge, my heart knew that in that other person was the same innocent child that rested inside of me. If I actually wanted the best for them I would have to adopt the same space of a loving parent and fully accept and embrace all the aspects I found challenging. This was a serious heart workout and as the journey continues I know that the muscle will be worked and stretched even more. Oh yay. All that self work naturally rippled out to my interactions with others and it pushed every single one of my buttons (as hard as possible!) in order to get me to a true place of unconditional love.
The next question that came up for me was, "how can I create the most impact in the world with the love in my heart?" I'm a creature who feels everything, even the things people can't or won't feel for themselves. This is one of my gifts and it comes with an intensity of experience that can be all consuming at times. I've had many experiences in this life where the emotions and pain I have the capacity to feel have flung me into what feels like a transcendental psychedelic journey. These experiences have shown me the power of emotions and how, when felt with awareness and grace, can push us into newer levels of self understanding, purpose, and action in our lives. The sorrow and anger I feel at the core acts as fuel for my heart and my life's purpose in ways that are bigger than just me. So, back to the question I had of creating the the most impact with the love in my heart. With all the deep intensity factored in I've learned that the highest level of compassion is sharing the open hearted gifts of your being in freedom and joy. It seems like a paradox (cause it is..) yet it became quite clear that the only way to uplift another being is by shining and sharing the light of who you are with them. What a visual; from the perceived darkness we feel inside stems the power and fuel for the light and brilliance of our love. What a magnificently puzzling experience we all share my friends.
It's crystal clear that we must be all we can be and feel all we can feel. Emotions are power and we choose how we wish to use that power for the betterment of all. Know that I love you, and know that your love can change this world. 


Be bold, as love,

Vita

Becoming

One year ago today I embarked on a journey of becoming. I told myself that I would spend the entire year focused on uncovering my truth and unwrapping the being I had always dreamed of being. It all started from a place of darkness, after all I had fell away and I was left feeling depleted and stripped of all my power. In that space something was lit, from the pain of loosing myself a call deep within my heart beckoned to come alive. I had no clue where to start but knew the first step was to make a choice for something different. I spent months in that darkness holding to a dream, a vision of who I felt I truly was. And as time went on small steps became clearer and I began to recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror once again. Forces beyond me brought medicine to help the process in forms of people, experiences, and most of all training in my own medicine path. The medicine didn't always taste sweet and I learned that having endurance though the challenging times was the only way I would see myself in the light of day. It has been the most challenging year of my life, pushing me beyond what I thought possible and as I write this in tears I feel the humble victory deep inside my very core. 

Last week I took a trip to the Kootenay's with a dear friend and have experienced what truly feels like the completion of this year long process. There has been a lot of beauty and at the same time many challenges that have pushed me to be strong in self-love and rise in emotional resilience. I've learned that emotions are the most powerful tool we have as human beings to connect to our truth. They can be difficult waters to navigate at times but they push us to grow and comprehend ourselves and the world in deeper ways. Emotions are a gift, they connect us to the true essence of being human and also give us the fuel to take action for what the heart calls. My heart is is my guiding light for it has proved throughout this year to be the truest voice and my best companion. Staying focused and connected to my inner world holds me in grace even through the heavy moments and precarious situations. I now begin this new cycle feeling reborn in self and ready for the next step. I want to give thanks to all the friends and loved ones who have been by my side throughout this past year. No person is an island and this year has proven just how much we need one another's support and guidance. 

With that I bow my head and open my palms to the forces of the Divine. I am here, ready, and willing to walk my highest path.


In grace,

Vita

 

Coming Home

Spring has officially begun and with that comes the promise of new life and the beginning of a fresh growth cycle. The changing season has been a very clear and beautiful reflection of where I'm at in my own journey. The tiny buds and early flowers show us that from the desolate, cold, and dry, comes new life and the opportunity to rise once again. It makes much more sense to view this time as the genuine "New Year" for it is quite clearly the time when all of nature commences.
For those of you who didn't know, I've been learning and following the Andean Medicine Path since last spring, which is a linage of teachings stemming from the Inca and modern day Peru. This path has proved to be vital in supporting my process of shedding all that held back the truest expression of my self. Over the weekend (and in perfect time for the Spring) I partook in the final initiation of the medicine wheel which brought me from the North into the East. The East is the realm of the Eagle and Condor and is where the Soul takes flight, rising to the great heights of the heavens. Going though the process ushered in a huge amount of new energy into my life and has brought a lot of truth along with it. I was blessed with an experience facilitated by a dear friend that brought me to a powerful place of clarity within myself. I felt the beauty and gift of my own heart and was able to feel all the things I took on which were clouding that pure connection. It was sobering to say the least and has changed my outlook on pretty much everything in my life.
Since that experience I've been extremely present with any thoughts and emotions that pull me away from that centred place of self love and joy. It's been really eye-opening to see just how easily things can creep up and I've had to call in the wisdom of the Eagle many times to soar above the density below. The simple truth is that we are beautiful creatures capable of so much more than we could ever imagine. And when we hold that genuine connection to our being with an intimate link to self-love, grace and abundance flows readily into our lives. It takes awareness to catch the patterns but I'm learning more and more that joy is the ultimate tool to know whether we are connected to ourselves or not. Making your dreams a reality starts in the present moment and being in joy ensures that we create what truly makes us happy. It's been a humbling process and I'm excited to see what will unfold as I continue this path of self-love. My heart goes out to you all because I know first hand how challenging it can seem at times. However, it only takes a simple shift of perspective to be back on creating our lives from a place of joy. And when you're caught in the thorns, take a breath and call on the Eagle to see the situation from a higher place.

May the start of the Spring bring a new loving perspective to your lives. 


In grace,

Vita

Remember

The tail end of this winter is proving to be full of lessons for me. It's been a time of wrapping up and integrating all the experiences that the last cycle of the seasons brought my way.
As I continue building my vision I've had to become clearer and more honest with myself and all the ways in which I have been lying or hiding from the truth. That self-honesty has helped me see the world with what feels like a clearer lens and has been a powerful tool of discernment as I choose what actions, thoughts, and feelings I align with.
Most of us can feel when we walk down the city street that something isn't quite right (to say the least..) and I've learned that in order to understand what's going on, and how to help, I must first be in full and clear integrity with myself. It's a process that has taken time and patience to genuinely peel back the layers that have clouded my pure embodied self.  That type of honesty is hard to find in a world that is built on false appearances and which feeds distraction and diversion from personal accountability. I could go on but instead I choose to share a poem I wrote which comes from my response to the conflict I see in the world. 


REMEMBER


When arrows fall, where will they land?
A leap of Faith and steady hand.
For when I boil it to the core,
The answer's clear, I search no more.
In the daze that spins the wheel,
I carve my path for the true and real.
The fires of our ancestry,
Have come to weave this tapestry.
Dare to look beyond the veil
Through the lies you made for sale.
Or does this type of honesty,
Cause your mind to drift in fantasy. 
I point this arrow first within,
To the only place I can begin.
The hunt for true integrity,
Has brought me honest clarity.
I see the challenge that does surround,
That wheel which spins deceit around. 
But as the masks drop one by one,
Thy Face of Truth is sure to come.
My plea to you is that you find,
Will to see what you left blind.
To trust the flame inside your heart,
The Pheonix burns, and now restart. 
I walk this Earth one step a time,
With eyes that slice the truth sublime.
For waiting in my deepest core,
Is an arrow poised in ancient lore. 


Be well,

Vita